Redefining the ego

Most people struggle with aspects of themselves or personality traits they are trying to change or remove. 

We mostly refer to that part of us as the ego which brings in a whole set of challenges when trying to resolve an issue or personal challenge because we lump so many aspects of our persona into one - The ego - and try to fix it or dissolve it.   

It's time to redefine what the ego actually means based on a more complete understanding of how our personality is constructed.  

First, take a moment of self reflection and consider what is one thing you dislike about yourself that you are trying to change right now?

We will come back to that toward the end.  

What is the ego? 

Let's have a look at the various components of our personality so that we can understand what the ego is: 

Your personality consists of: 

1. Your beliefs 
2. Family patterns inherited from your parents and previous generations 
3. Societal beliefs and conditioning 
4. Your own psychological protection or defence mechanisms 
5. Traumas or pains you experienced in the past 
6. Self created personas being projected into your reality 
7. Unprocessed emotions stuck in your body  
8. Your shadow - Aspects of yourself that you dislike or judge 
9. Thought forms of other people or your direct environment 
10. Misperceptions or myths about yourself or how life works 
11. Your current value system or highest life priorities
12. Your unique talents and skills
13. Effects of quantum entanglement 
14. Other aspects I have not included or am not yet aware of 

All of these make up what most refer to as your ego. These are aspects of your personality and form character traits and behaviours which inevitably create your life. 

If these aspects are running your life then you have very little control over the outcomes of your life and you end up living an unfulfilled or meaningless life. 

The problem with lumping it all under one label is that when you try to resolve an issue, you might be working on the wrong aspect with the wrong tool at the wrong time which can leave you frustrated when the issue persists and recycled problems keep coming back, giving rise to an endless self blame cycle along with further suppression or a perception that you "need more work". 

Instead of focusing on dissolving, fixing, ending the ego try to isolate the current challenge or behaviour that you have and see which exact aspect on this list it is that needs to be looked at. 

Trying to get rid of a part of yourself

For many people, when they have a behavioural problem or a character trait that they dislike, they are many times referring to their shadow - a part of yourself that you judge, dislike or try to avoid becoming. Also often referred to as your dark side, disowned part or negative ego. 

Take a look at the answer to the question I asked above. The part of yourself that you dislike. 

Every time you try to disconnect or remove a part of yourself, you literally fragment yourself into little pieces. Those little pieces always try to find their way back to you and you become the very thing you try to avoid and judge yourself for it because you don't want to be that. Even if you manage to use your will power to push that undesirable part of you away or suppress it, it always finds it's way back either by you doing that behaviour at odd times or someone else around you (usually your spouse) often behaving that way toward you or others. 

Any aspect that you judge, disown or dislike you will end up attracting into your life, usually though other people and they will piss you off until you integrate and love that character trait. 

The thing is that you cannot get rid of a part of you. It is there all the time. The only thing you can do is to love it. 

In the first video of The Know Yourself Teachings - Your inner guidance system - I explain this principle in a little more detail as I refer to emotions and how to integrate them. 

When you love it, you integrate and it becomes part of you again and you react less to that aspect. 

For example, if you don't like the [insert your behaviour] jealous part of you and you try to not be jealous then what you can do instead of avoiding jealousy is to embrace jealousy and understand how jealousy benefits and serves you. When you see how it is benefiting your life and your purpose, you will want to keep it and allow yourself to be jealous from time to time. It can benefit you by helping you improve your talents, take on new challenges, build new skills, improve physical appearance or perhaps it helps you be more productive. 

It is up to you to sit down and list the benefits that being that character trait brings you so that you can learn to love it and be grateful you that part of you. 

There are numerous benefits to having a character trait and each one has constructive and destructive uses. 

When you own and integrate your dark sides, you are able to have access to use their constructive purpose. When you deny that part of you, you lose access to it's benefits too. You also feel lighter and have less reactions to other people because you don't hold a judgement on characteristics that they portray. 

Doing this has the potential to leave you truly free. 

I cover a number of the various components of your personality in the Know Yourself teachings that will explain a lot about why things happen in your life and how to have greater control over these aspects. 

If you have been confused about where to start your own inner work or have had recycled challenges in your life and not solving them because you don't know what level to address them, book a time with me and I will help you discover the core issue that you are dealing with, where it comes from and the steps to take to resolve it.